Saturday, August 15, 2009

Sometimes The Night Can Bring Light to You...

Sometimes, a picture of a couple of old friends can make you see the light...
Even if you haven't spoken to those friends in a very long time, even if, at one time in your life you loved them very much, even if they are gone...they can still make you see the light.
I used to go to concerts with these guys and I used to drink too much when I did...BUT, we all did. We all drank to much! I just didn't stop when the party was over. They could, I couldn't.
As a result, I don't speak to these guys anymore. I don't speak to the entire "gang" that used to go to these concerts. And I don't do to these concerts (or for that matter any concerts at all) anymore.
It hurts when you lose friends, family...through attrition (an ugly f***ing word), through death, through movement, through...
But it hurts worse when you lose them through your own stupid behavior, your diseases, your idiocy, well, Fly, let's say it...your dumbass drunkeness.
And I miss them all. I can only hope that, one day, they will come back. But I seriously doubt it. What I have done and said and been, well, sometimes, can't be removed. Just like grafitti on a wall, it's always there and can't be painted over.
I am ashamed. I am humbled.
And that is my first step toward making amends to these people that I love
And who I believe once loved me.
Tonight, I am a humble nightfly,
and I remain ever yours...

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