I have other issues to discuss here, but, first, I had to pay tribute to John. Yes, he would have been 70 years old this year, just a few days ago. Had he not been killed who knows? What music would he have given the world, us, me in the last thirty years. We will never know. But, suffice to say, we miss you John...we have for a very long time.
Now, onto new business. The Rock And The Hard Place. Guess where I am? I won't go into detail but I am there and I have no f***ing idea what to do. I'm frightened because my world will soon come crashing down around me. I see it coming and there isn't a GD thing I can do about it.
So...with that, I remain,
ps: Maybe I should stop getting up in the morning!
My brother sent me a song tonight. I don't believe he knew what it meant to me. Yo lo quierdo....I think that is what the singer is singing... I do know this, he is saying, "I don't remember"... But, I do. I remember. I remember all of the friends I have lost, through attrition (sp?), because of what I am...I have a disease. It's not catching, it's just a disease that hurts the people around me. But I remember you all...I love you very much, I miss you very much and I hurt...my heart hurts because I don't have you in my life anymore. Because of my disease. I'm sorry. I apologize. I am sorry and I can never take it back. I can only think of you, love you, remember you...I can't even hope that you will come back to me someday. Because I know you never will. But I can do what I can do today and step one foot in front of the other. One day at a time. I'm sorry. I am getting healthy now... I wish I was healthy then...maybe we would still be friends. For my life, still ahead, pity me.
Someone once told me that time is a predator that stalks us all our life. I rather think of time as a companion that goes with us on the journey and reminds us to cherish every moment...because they will never come again.