Thursday, December 9, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
I'm so sick of being told by the media where and when to go, where and when to be and where and when I can fuck, shit, piss and breathe.
Screw all of you.
I will not subscribe to your interpretation of the events that have happened today.
And how many people got trampled...all for the want of a fucking IPAD?
Angrily, I am,
Thursday, November 25, 2010
I am a drag...a real drag!
When did I stop having fun with my blogs? I guess when I became a drag!
I love being here...especially in the night (ah, NightFly..get it?) and I have done nothing lately (like the last year or so) but BITCH ABOUT SHIT!
Well, who can stop that? One answer...ME!
So, The NightFly, the fun one...is back. I may still bitch about stuff from time to time...
I'm also gonna have fun again.
ps: Maybe this whole gig is because I'm getting rid of my own drag...my wife!
pps: And if you are an attractive young woman, Love Always More....write to me!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
When did I fall out of grace? When did this happen? When did the world decide that I wasn't to have anything? That I would just exist? That I would just take their crap and enjoy it?
I'm a good f***ing man. I deserve more.
I deserve a loving woman who won't criticize me, who will love me, who will be my partner in this life. She's there...I just haven't found her.
And I'm tired of waiting for The Man...when things go wrong and it's...once in a while, not my fault, I have to wait for The Man. And I wait.
Well, that having been said...
As Always, I am....
The NightFly (Even this early in the morning!)
I wrote another blog about this photo...
"Time is was, time is was.."
I have been told that dogs and cats don't have souls...but I think they do. How can you look into their eyes and not see...well, yourself. How can you not hear their cry when they bark or meow at you...at you! How can you say that they don't have soul when they come to you for affection or comfort, just like your wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend would do?
There's more to that photo, more than I'm saying...but, I will say that we should be good to our pets. For God's sake...you brought them into your home, treat them well!
I am, even at this hour in the morning,
As Brandi knows, sometimes rain will fall into your life. This morning I know (as Brandi knows) that I won't melt if I walk in the rain. I won't melt if someone disparages me. And I won't melt if I...I feel unloved.
Guess what? I'm not melting.
I'm sweet, but I'm not made of sugar and I won't melt!
I send a Big Sugary Kissy to all 12 of you who read my blog!
And many of them have the word "hurt" in them.
It made me realize that I am hurting so much...I have a wife that would spit on me rather than kiss me. I have...well, now that I think about it...aside from that, I have nothing.
I'm just old and tired. I thought for a brief f-ing moment, I might have love in my life again...but, just like the water heater that doesn't work in my house, that's not gonna happen. So I will relegate myself to an area, a room for the next few weeks. I will be purposeful, I will do what is required of me.
But I will not be happy, joyous and free.
I don't think I ever will be.
So much love to give...and no one will take it from me.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
I am just a man...how am I to figure this whole thing out?
I'm tired and beaten...beaten down and beaten close to death.
All I want is to hold someone and love her...
Is that so much to ask?
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Friday, October 1, 2010
Yo lo quierdo....I think that is what the singer is singing...
I do know this, he is saying, "I don't remember"...
But, I do. I remember. I remember all of the friends I have lost, through attrition (sp?), because of what I am...I have a disease. It's not catching, it's just a disease that hurts the people around me.
But I remember you all...I love you very much, I miss you very much and I hurt...my heart hurts because I don't have you in my life anymore.
Because of my disease.
I'm sorry. I apologize. I am sorry and I can never take it back.
I can only think of you, love you, remember you...I can't even hope that you will come back to me someday. Because I know you never will.
But I can do what I can do today and step one foot in front of the other. One day at a time.
I'm sorry. I am getting healthy now...
I wish I was healthy then...maybe we would still be friends.
For my life, still ahead, pity me.
Someone I thought was going to be a "person of interest", as they put it in the crime shows...well, I am alone again!
I have very special feelings for this woman...and I want to be with her.
I don't know why I can't be...
Just a pool of tears
Sunday, September 26, 2010
I heard from many people...people that I like and that I LOVE...
I still feel like Tommy....
There is no chance, no outside operation...
All hope lies with him and not with me...
Imagine, though, the shock from isolation
When he suddenly can hear and speak and see....
Go to the mirror, boy!
Listening to you, I get the music,
Gazing at you, I get the heat,
Following you, I climb the mountains,
I get excitement at your feet!
Right behind you, I see the millions,
On you, I see the glory,
From you, I get opinions,
From you I get the story...
What is happening in his head?
Oh, I wish I knew...I wish I knew!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
I still have things to say, whether or not you like them, that's okay...but I have to get them out...when I'm happy, when I'm sad or angry or whatever...it's gotta come out.
Yeah, I am The NightFly, that...no matter what time I get up in the morning, will never change. And yes, I like to think that I AM..."Twenty Minutes Into The Future".
Big changes coming soon for The NightFly...
I send my love, my hope and my dreams for all 12 of you who read this!
Ps: Oh, sorry, no really cool pic tonight!
Monday, September 13, 2010
I have one faction in my life telling me that I have to change my life, drastically. Another faction telling me that I want to change my life. And then there is me...not wanting change in my life...I dislike change greatly!
Do I follow my heart or my head?
Fear brought me to where I am right now. Fear brought me down this horrible spiral. Fear...is all I feel these days...fear and depression.
I have a darkness in my life. I have a light in my life. Then I have the grey in between.
I know which way to go. I know what I have to do. But that path, everything being said, is the hardest thing I will ever have to do. Others have done it...I can, too.
Will sobriety follow? Will serenity follow? Will happiness follow?
The NightFly wonders about all of these things...
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
I am Twenty Minutes Into The Future...I will always be! Even though they tell me to look at "One Day At A Time".
I can't come out to find you....
I'm just who I am...someone just wrote on my FaceBook (what a FREAKING WASTE OF TIME!) that I should be coherent! Well, if I were coherent I wouldn't be any fun and I wouldn't be read by all of you!
DO YOU know everything that's gonna happen in the next twenty-four or the next forty-eight?
Yeah, well, neither do I, so, guess what...I care about what's happening RIGHT F*ing NOW!
Welcome to YOUR Twenty Minutes Into The Future!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
It's peculiar that I felt a range of emotions about this performance...I listened to the songs that, well, had awakened my sexuality, my sensuality, my head and my...no pun intended...my heart.
I can remember hearing "Crazy On You" the very first time...I had awakened to a clear summer morning and I was looking up to my windows and I heard this woman singing, almost screaming, "Lemme go crazy, crazy on you". Well, I was fifteen years old, pumped with hormones and the thought of that was quite intoxicating! I tried, feverishly, for two or three months to find out who the HELL this band was. I was told it was the Heart Sisters and other things...and finally, I found them in the record (remember records?) store. On a little known label (which I will not say here because they screwed Heart big time) was "Heart". I played "Crazy On You" and "Magic Man" and "Sing Child" over and over and over and over until the grooves (yeah, youngster, records had GROOVES!) were worn out.
Now, thirty years later...I don't know if it because I have really never grown up or if I have hope in my heart...I listened to the same songs sang by people I really didn't recognize (Big Fat Annie and Anorexic Nancy, with their latest boy-toy band and some chick with pigtails playing keys and other assorted stuff) and I realized that I still have the same feelings. I hope in my heart that I will be the best person I can be and that someone, just one, will recognize that in me! I hope that I will help...
Ann and Nancy...and I'm sorry I disparaged you in the last paragraph because I have always loved both of you, as musicians, especially, but just as nice people...Ann and Nancy, you sang about the things that I was going through at age 15-16...you understood. You helped me through.
You sang of love...you sang about the world.
This is not from "Dreamboat Annie" but I took these words to heart (again, no pun intended)...You said...
"When we get old,
How will our story be told,
Used by time,
Waiting for the bus...
Will that be us?
I still feel the feelings of a fifteen year old...I hope for love, I hope for peace in my life, I hope for better things every day.
Am I still waiting for the bus?
Saturday, May 22, 2010
"After the war,
Waterloo was no more...
But your ticket states,
there is one train,
it's leaving now,
There is a place,
Remember my face,