Seriously?

I just re-wrote and re-read a few of my entries.

And many of them have the word "hurt" in them.

It made me realize that I am hurting so much...I have a wife that would spit on me rather than kiss me. I have...well, now that I think about it...aside from that, I have nothing.

I'm just old and tired. I thought for a brief f-ing moment, I might have love in my life again...but, just like the water heater that doesn't work in my house, that's not gonna happen. So I will relegate myself to an area, a room for the next few weeks. I will be purposeful, I will do what is required of me.

But I will not be happy, joyous and free.

I don't think I ever will be.

So much love to give...and no one will take it from me.