There was a time when I believed in love...I believed that you could fall in love with someone...and believe me, I don't care if you love a woman or a man. If you feel that feeling of love, well, there you are!

There was a time that I believed that you could fall in love...that love was something to hold on to. That love was something. I've written numerous songs about love...

I still, at my age, think that it happens.

Marshall Crewshaw, In the 1980's, said it best, at least for me!

I never thought I'd be in this situation,

It seems wherever I go I'm with you

I never seem to find my place,

Every time I see your face!

It seems to be,

A reverie,

You're here with me!

Whenever you're on my mind,

I leave the world behind....

And so, I still believe...

And I want to be in love...I want to love someone.

And On and On...

I've just watched a special on Palladium...it was Heart (in this era) performing their entire first album (Dreamboat Annie) on stage.

It's peculiar that I felt a range of emotions about this performance...I listened to the songs that, well, had awakened my sexuality, my sensuality, my head and my...no pun intended...my heart.

I can remember hearing "Crazy On You" the very first time...I had awakened to a clear summer morning and I was looking up to my windows and I heard this woman singing, almost screaming, "Lemme go crazy, crazy on you". Well, I was fifteen years old, pumped with hormones and the thought of that was quite intoxicating! I tried, feverishly, for two or three months to find out who the HELL this band was. I was told it was the Heart Sisters and other things...and finally, I found them in the record (remember records?) store. On a little known label (which I will not say here because they screwed Heart big time) was "Heart". I played "Crazy On You" and "Magic Man" and "Sing Child" over and over and over and over until the grooves (yeah, youngster, records had GROOVES!) were worn out.

Now, thirty years later...I don't know if it because I have really never grown up or if I have hope in my heart...I listened to the same songs sang by people I really didn't recognize (Big Fat Annie and Anorexic Nancy, with their latest boy-toy band and some chick with pigtails playing keys and other assorted stuff) and I realized that I still have the same feelings. I hope in my heart that I will be the best person I can be and that someone, just one, will recognize that in me! I hope that I will help...

Ann and Nancy...and I'm sorry I disparaged you in the last paragraph because I have always loved both of you, as musicians, especially, but just as nice people...Ann and Nancy, you sang about the things that I was going through at age 15-16...you understood. You helped me through.

You sang of love...you sang about the world.

This is not from "Dreamboat Annie" but I took these words to heart (again, no pun intended)...You said...

"When we get old,
How will our story be told,
Windswept, old,
Used by time,
Waiting for the bus...

Will that be us?

I still feel the feelings of a fifteen year old...I hope for love, I hope for peace in my life, I hope for better things every day.

Am I still waiting for the bus?

It Never Ends...

I learned something the other day...that, what I have, will never end. I am trying so hard to not be the NightFly...to fit into the DayWorld. And I'm just not sure I'm ever gonna be able to do it. I have a Twit or a Tweet or a Twitter or a Tweeter or a Twieter or a Twater or something like that and people are actually following me. Following what I do!

Let's have a look at that...who gives a crap what I do from moment to moment...when I shave, when I shower, when I watch TV, when I go to bed, when I do whatever I do...who gives a hairy rats...?

I am trying SO HARD to be a DayWorld person, even though I mostly work the night shift. I just don't want to isolate to the night. I don't want to miss the sunrise...but the sunset suits me just a little better.

I am The NightFly and always will be.

What I have, what I am, what I will be, what is yet to come...

Will never change.

And never end.

I see that same hooded face,

It beckons me from the gate

"Did you not know, my friend?

Ten years ago was the end?"

"After the war,
Waterloo was no more...
But your ticket states,
there is one train,
it's leaving now,
There is a place,
Remember my face,
And Waterloo"

it's nice work if you can get it...now, who the hell said it...

I am ...

Sometimes, we don't really understand the consequences of our actions.

Sometimes, we wish for things that will never happen.

Sometimes, we will do what we have to in order to get what we want.

Sometimes, we love people who are so far away from us (both in proximity and how they feel about us), that we are alone.

Sometimes, we feel alone.

Sometimes, we wish we were...

We all would like the best for ourselves...and our children and our grandchildren. Well, I don't have any children...I have STEP-children and I try so hard to take care of them.

I have a wife...and I try too hard to take care of her, especially when she calls me names like "idiot", "drunk", "fool".

I can accede to each of those monikers at one time or another but there are other names, too...

"Caretaker", "Butler", "Confidant", "Friend".

Sometimes (oh, there's that word again), sometimes, I would just like to be called "friend". It that so much to ask?

And so I say a "Wonderful Night" to anyone who reads this post,

Good Night, Friend.

Sometimes The Night Can Bring Light to You...

Sometimes, a picture of a couple of old friends can make you see the light...

Even if you haven't spoken to those friends in a very long time, even if, at one time in your life you loved them very much, even if they are gone...they can still make you see the light.

I used to go to concerts with these guys and I used to drink too much when I did...BUT, we all did. We all drank to much! I just didn't stop when the party was over. They could, I couldn't.

As a result, I don't speak to these guys anymore. I don't speak to the entire "gang" that used to go to these concerts. And I don't do to these concerts (or for that matter any concerts at all) anymore.

It hurts when you lose friends, family...through attrition (an ugly f***ing word), through death, through movement, through...

But it hurts worse when you lose them through your own stupid behavior, your diseases, your idiocy, well, Fly, let's say it...your dumbass drunkeness.

And I miss them all. I can only hope that, one day, they will come back. But I seriously doubt it. What I have done and said and been, well, sometimes, can't be removed. Just like grafitti on a wall, it's always there and can't be painted over.

I am ashamed. I am humbled.

And that is my first step toward making amends to these people that I love

And who I believe once loved me.

Tonight, I am a humble nightfly,

and I remain ever yours...